Having safer sex is one of the most important things you can do to protect yourself from STD/STIs (sexually transmitted diseases and infections), and keep your sex life healthy.
Firstly, it’s important to note that ANYONE can get an STI. HIV and all other STIs show up in every single race, gender and sexual orientation; they don’t discriminate. Don’t be fooled about the risk of HIV. It’s real and you can get it.
Sex activities can be divided into 3 kinds of “danger zones,” low risk, medium risk, and high risk (things like hugging, massages, dry humping with clothes on and masturbating are in the danger-free zone). Risk is the risk of sharing/transferring/passing on/contracting an STI. These are all based on unprotected activities.
Some lower-risk activities with little chance of getting/giving an STI
- Kissing (lips or all over the body except for the genital region)
- Nude dry humping
Some medium-risk activities (definite exposure to an STI, possible transfer)
- Oral-genital sex (going down, cock sucking, blow jobs) without swallowing!
- Frottage (a fancy word for rubbing a penis between his ass cheeks or armpit or wherever)
- Oral-anal sex (licking the anus, rimming)
Some high-risk activities (way too scary a chance of getting/giving an STI)
- Anal Sex without condoms
- Cum eating, cum play, swallowing
- Any fluid sharing: blood, cum, spit, precum
- Any toy sharing: don’t use the same enema tips; use condoms over those dildos, plugs and beads and wash them well!
Depending on who you’re talking to, some people will put oral-anal and oral-genital sex in the high-risk category, especially if there’s cum eating, swallowing or other cum play involved.
So what can you do to protect yourself from these STIs?
For blow jobs, using a condom is your best bet. They make flavored condoms, flavored lube, etc. It does not feel that different, and to be honest, which feels worse, a condom on your penis or Chlamydia in your mouth? Put a little lube inside the tip of the condom before rolling it on, and he’ll feel a lot more sensation.
As far as rimming an ass, you should go for a different barrier approach. The best idea for this is a dental dam (a latex sheet), a condom cut in half length wise, a latex (or latex free) glove with the fingers cut off and cut open at the thumb, or a piece of non-microwavable plastic wrap (the microwavable kind is porous enough to let the infections through). Place your barrier of choice over your partner’s asshole with a little lube on the side against him (it’ll feel tons better). Put some flavored lube on the side where your tongue goes, and lick away!
Anal sex? ALWAYS USE A CONDOM with plenty of lubricant. Lube is very important in anal sex, because there is a lot of friction, and no one wants his condom to break. In the tip, and in the ass, lube becomes your best friend!
Do you like to use toys? If it is brand new, right out of the package, and only one of you will be using it, then you’re set. But if it’s a toy you already have, and/or the two of you will be sharing it, make sure put a condom on it. STIs can stay on toys as you transfer them from one person to another. By using a different condom on the toy for each person playing with it, you’re just making sure you two are being super safe!
Also, if you’re having group sex, make sure you use a new condom for sex which each new person. Group sex is lots of fun, but you have that many more chances for an STI. Cover up with a new condom (or dental dam) for each guy, and you can enjoy yourself without worrying about getting an STI.
- NEVER double bag (use two condoms)! The friction of having two rubbing against each other really increases the chance that BOTH will break, making it riskier.
- Keep a condom in a place with a relatively normal temperature. Leaving it in the sun, in your wallet up against the heat of your body, or your glove compartment can cause it to become brittle and useless.
- DON’T use any lube that has oil in it (massage oil, lotion, Crisco, Vaseline, you name it), because it will cause the latex to literally dissolve, as in melt. As in no protection provided, and now you have melting latex all over.
- Lube = your friend. Buy it, use it, love it.
- Condoms come in tons of varieties. Try a bunch and find the ones that you like best. Then keep using them.
- If going from one ass to another, always use a new condom!
- Lastly, when you’re done with your condom, take it off, tie a knot in the end, and THROW IT OUT. Do not flush it down the toilet (that might be an awkward clog to explain to a plumber) and don’t leave it where pets or kids could get a hold of it.
In a monogamous relationship, and want to have barrier-free sex? Time to get tested, both you AND your partner. Lots of places do testing; health clinics, your doctor, Planned Parenthood, etc. Get a full panel: Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HPV (genital warts), syphilis, hepatitis B, HIV, etc. (the doc can check you out for lice while you’re there). Just remember that certain STIs take a while to show up, so if either of you has had unprotected sex with a different partner recently, you may have to wait 6 months (or more) to be sure that you don’t have HIV. Once you both have a clean bill of health (and a trusting relationship), have at it.
As a side note, some people are allergic to latex. Lucky for them, several brands make hypo-allergenic polyurethane condoms. These are fine to use. Sheepskin condoms, on the other hand, do NOT prevent the transfer of STIs.